This blog is about analyzing verbal and non-verbal human behaviors using real life example videos and images which may or may not relate to deception. Verbal behavior is the manner in which we use words. Non-verbal behavior is the manner in which we behave – body language. By analyzing both verbal and non-verbal clues a great deal can be revealed about a person or situation. However, analysis of the facts along with the analysis of verbal and non-verbal clues provides even a richer insight. All three are equally important! What lot of us forget is the context in which these behaviors occur. One behavioral clue or factual clue alone does not tell us much. Only when you put it all together in context, it makes sense and makes the revelation!
Make no mistake, this is NOT mind reading! I only believe in scientific analysis based on empirical (observable) evidence. This is also NOT a definitive science! You can only arrive at a reasonably accurate conclusion based on observable clues. Analyzing human behavior in context is NOT an easy task! Forget about those sites that conveniently tells you about, for example, “How to tell if your spouse is lying”. Some of these sites are rather laughable to me!! What these sites and their authors don’t tell you is that there are so many caveats to the rule. A day to day reader would take these sort of advice in these sites so very black and white and go apply it themselves, and probably ends up ruining their relationships with their spouses, family, and friends. My advice to you, be cautious!
Another aspect of analyzing human behavior and deception is asking the question “what’s at stake?” Let me use a simple example to explain this. You sneak in to the kitchen and eat a freshly baked cupcake your mom made. She ask you if you ate one, and you lie and say no. You consider yourself a good actor and you pass the lie test your mom gave you. She won’t know you lied! Next day, you do the same, you mom gets furious and ask you again if you ate one. But this time she gets a bit suspicious and threatens you to take your car or allowance away!! Now what’s happening here is she’s turning the stakes up. This is where even though you think you’re a very good actor, you leak verbal and non-verbal behaviors that tells your mother you’re hiding something. And she may even turn the stakes even higher, and since you’re guilty conscious, you’ll most probably betray yourself! When stakes are low, we all can tell perfect lies which are difficult to discern unless the stakes are turned up.
Here lies another problem. False confessions and what’s called the “Othello’s error” (coined by psychologist Paul Ekman)! Othello’s error in a nutshell is about when a truthful person under stress of a harsh interrogation may display similar behaviors that a deceptive person would display. This is why I don’t believe in ‘in your face’ confrontations, but at the same time you need to up the stakes to see the clues. Add to this, always remember that someone could be telling what we think is a ‘lie’, and still NOT be lying! Simple example, a sales manager tells his sales reps who talks to the customers some fact about a product to be sold which are not so accurate. The sales reps in turn believes it, turns around describes to the customers during his sales visits without any clues of verbal or non-verbal behaviors. Can you call the sales rep a liar? Absolutely NOT!! How do you catch that? Check facts!! At times easier said than done. Body language will not help you here!
Now you probably realize analyzing human behavior and deception is not so black and white, like a website or a TV show like ‘Lie to Me’ would portray, is it? Having said that, at certain times, given the nature of the situation, and when we’ve got nothing (no clues, and no time to check facts) we have to go by our gut feeling, which may or may not be accurate!
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